Metabolize This

So I am home sick and bored out of my mind, everyone. Last week I started feeling really tired, and had a sudden onset of severe pain on Tuesday afternoon. If it had been on my right side, I would have immediately gone to the ER, because it was bad enough to think appendix, but it was on the left side, under the rib cage. The pain would lull then come on strongly, and persisted for a couple of days, long enough for me to actually go to the doctor. In case you didn't know, healthcare workers hate being patients.

The nurse practitioner I saw immediately ordered a CT, but I talked her into an abdominal ultrasound, to save myself from over-radiation, and money. On Wednesday, they called me into see the actual doctor to discuss my results and options. I knew that didn't sound good, and from my previous history of colon polyps, ovarian cysts and kidney stones, I knew it had to be one of the three. Turns out, my left kidney is very enlarged and almost completely blocked, however, they could not see what was causing the blockage. I immediately sent my thanks to God that I didn't have to see the gastroenterologist, or the OBGYN, and asked what the next steps were.

Here is where the difference between a good doctor and just any practitioner comes in. He let me know that the easiest way to diagnose me would be a CT scan, but wanted to know what my concerns were. I passed a large stone last summer with no hospitilization, and told him, it was probably a stone, and that I'd rather just pass it than be radiated and pay a fortune. After all, it's not like the CT machine is going to blast the stone or anything. Still concerned about the pain and possibility of infection, he decided to run some more UA and blood tests after questions about what the stone looked like and discussing my family history of heart disease, stroke and diabetes.

After the two of us made "2 and 2 make 4" as the doc put it, the diagnosis is hyperuricemia, or too much uric acid in the blood. This is actually a rare cause of kidney stones, but aside from giving old people "the gout," it has been linked to high triglycerides (which they discovered in my blood two years ago), stroke, insulin resistance, and metabolic disorder, even in people like me who are not overweight. So without knowing what is causing it, I have been forced to change to a vegetarian diet until more tests come in.

Somehow I think all the past maladies in the last decade are linked to a metabolic or digestive disorder. When I was really young, my diet was restricted to goat dairy, whole grains and non-dyed foods (yummy, right?), then somehow I "outgrew" the problem as an older child. However, I still would get bad allergies, and feel "gooky" after eating, (I don't know how to explain gooky without grossing everyone out). Then came the colon polyp and out went cow dairy again, with the exception of processed cheeses. Then the ovarian cysts came, and I cut back on the soy, and settled on gaining ten pounds with Depo-Provera to keep them from forming.

Now here I have rare kidney stones, and something in the back of my mind is telling me that I really never "outgrew" anything, but who, except millionaires, can afford all of these medical tests? Just in the last week, I've spent 100 dollars on copays alone, just to see someone. Now I have to go back today, as it seems an infection has set into the blocked kidney, which is accompanied by a horrible headache/low fever that narcotics won't even kick. There goes another $35.

So today, I'm fighting the malaise in order to search the vast web-world to find some vegetarian recipes that will actually fill me up, just to avoid another day in bed and stupid daytime t.v. My family has refused to jump on board with no-meat meals, so I need to find some recipes I can cook, then add meat for them. It's turning out to be a bit like looking for ocean front property in Arizona, as George Strait once put it. At least I'm finally on a path to finally discovering a healthy me.